Full disclosure: the reason for writing this post was at-first to complain about not getting into one film festival we submitted ‘MUTE‘ to. Then it became how to keep going, despite the incalculable obstacles in the way, or more importantly how to want to keep going. But finally it became about how to encourage others to keep going, or even to try for the first time. You will fail. Not everyone will like what you do. It will be hard work. But it will also give your life meaning, because only you can do that. You have to believe in who you want to be, and what you want to do, and not let the chaos around you diminish those beliefs.
To wake up and continue can be hard work. If you pour your heart and soul and time into something, and exhaust all mental and physical energy on said something, only to be told that it’s not good enough, of course your natural reaction will be to feel disheartened, to want to quit. Your desire to give up will only intensify when what you’ve done gets picked apart ruthlessly by those close to you, or miles away having never met you, as if it’s the only thing to be said of the thing, with no consideration of the love and hard work (by many many people) that’s gone into it in the first place. This criticism usually comes from those who have never considered turning the critical eye on their own lives, choosing full-time jobs, kids, and repetitive lives of atrophy, over going after their own dreams. And I don’t blame these people (I did once, but don’t now). I get how easy and comforting such a life could be. I also empathise that that life is also hard work, and requires time and energy, and passion too. Only it’s a life that I know I don’t want. I also understand how easy it is to criticise a choice flippantly (see, I almost did it back there), but I’m also aware that if criticism is all you offer, you add nothing to a persons life, or the world in general. The alternative to giving up is to build up your resilience to these moments, in order to survive, to endure, to continue. But as you build your resilience its easy to grow cold (the subject of our film ‘Narcissist‘).
Some people don’t even try, out of fear of failure, criticism, or to be perfectly frank, having to acknowledge that they may not be able to do what they dream of doing. If I’m brutally honest I worry I am one of these people, but I keep trying anyway, because the alternative looks so much worse to me, and I know deep down that I need (not just want) to do what I do.
What made the rejection from one film festival hard to swallow, was that I believed whole-heartedly that ‘MUTE‘ was going to get in. I think ruthless self-examination is the only way to progress and improve, so naturally I did that with all our work, and ‘MUTE‘ too. But again, I came to the same roadblock. I know it’s a good film. It’s been even more well received than our previous work. It was even made with consideration for festivals, without being weakened by that. A shorter runtime, an earlier festival submission, a careful balance of the tragic and the comic, all made to our highest technical quality yet – I couldn’t see any reason at all why it wouldn’t get in. My biggest hurdle is knowing that festival screeners have their own view of what a good film is, and I can’t change that. I love ‘Under the Skin’ and hate ‘The Neon Demon’ for example, but some people feel the exact opposite. And that’s okay. But given that festivals are seemingly the only route to getting your work out to a larger audience, this will always be the hardest part to contend with.
Not getting in to one film festival does not make our film a failure. One person, on the other side of the planet, might not have liked it, or might not be able to make it fit a schedule of countless other films to screen (you need to remember that thousands of other people are trying to do the same as you, and dealing with the same highs and lows as you too). There will be other festivals. There will be other, better films. Take criticism from others and from yourself, but utilise them with careful consideration, instead of being beaten by them. Take what you learn from one experience and make the next one even better. Not for other people, but for yourself. Never stop caring.
